I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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