I'm gonna have a badass scar
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
