I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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