its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
