Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
