Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
