What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
