You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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