I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
