singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
