i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
