So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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