my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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