SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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