The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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