He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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