I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
