Whod you bang
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
