Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
