a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
