one might say we're banned from that church
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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