is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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