Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
