I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
