There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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