They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize