Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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