hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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