Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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