so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
