i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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