I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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