He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
