After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
