Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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