The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
