I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
