69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
