The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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