you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
