I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize