yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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