I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
thus making me awesome and them whores
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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