id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My vagina is officially offended.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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