it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
