That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
