It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
