Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
