I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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