I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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