Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
