Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
