brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
