I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
