My friends, they love my intelligence
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
