You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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