so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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