i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
