Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
