What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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