Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
