one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
