If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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