So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
