Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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