My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
