I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
