You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
