that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
