In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
