he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize