What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
