Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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