I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
worst night to have a conscience
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
