My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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